Unfortunately, McIlroy dumped Wozniacki just weeks before the wedding, and now it seems the experience traumatized her so much that she's decided to date McIlroy's polar opposite.
If you're not familiar with JJ Watt, just imagine if Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy had a lovechild with a side of beef and together, they taught it to be the most dominant pass rusher in the NFL.
Like McIlroy, Watt is the one of the best in the world at what he does. Unlike McIlroy, Watt is what it would look like if you could turn the act of crushing a beer can against your forehead into a human being.
Anyway, Watt and Wozniacki attended last night's NCAA men's basketball national championship game in which Watt's alma mater Wisconsin fell to the ever-dominant Duke.
We're sure Watt was disappointed, but we imagine Wozniacki was more than happy to console him after the game.
Is this upsetting news for McIlroy is he too waist-deep in Northern Irish golf groupies to care?
Either way, the real victim is Wozniacki's ability to walk properly. Is it possible to play tennis while bow-legged?
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore shocked the world when they went public with their relationship. They shocked us even further by discussing their very interesting and involved family dynamics with her ex Bruce Willis.
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer actually look great together, but she's way not cerebral enough for him. He once said she was addictive, like "crack cocaine."
The ultimate in WTF, Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney seem like complete opposites, but if opposites really DO attract then maybe that explains this totally weird coupling.
Now THIS is a weird May-December romance that kind of grosses us out. (At least Courtney Stodden has that whole "attention whore" thing going for her...) Mary-Kate Olsen is engaged to Olivier Sarkozy which just SCREAMS "Daddy Issues."